Twerve Days of Baseball

Consider this blog a work in progress. Please feel free to post comments/suggestions. We would like to keep our readers interested. At the behest of one Stephen Messinger we have made this edition into more of a "dialogue." Please let us know which format you prefer. -- Twerve

Eric:

The non-baseball highlight of my day was buying a digi-cam as a birthday present from my parents (thanks. Mom and Dad!). We were in Best Buy, Pentagon City in Arlington, VA, checking out the digimatics, when the fire alarm started to go off. Needless to say, this must have been bad for business. We went to our next stop, Costco, where I found the exact same camera with the rechargeable lithium battery for the same price (though clearly an upgrade). So it was a good start to the day for me. The camera is a Nikon. I haven't had a chance to charge it and start my picture-taking, but hopefully by tomorrow I will have her up and running.


Tonight's baseball game was sweet. The Nationals won 5-4 in a heated battle with the Braves. The Nats staged a money comeback, and the crowd was so excited I felt like it was game 7 of the World Series. It's really fun to go to a park and root for the home team, even if you could give two shits about either team. The peanuts were better than at Camden, and I had several more beers in me, so I was certainly enjoying myself. The one thing that pissed me off was that I couldn't get that clapping cheer going at the stadium. You know, the one that goes CLAP! CLAP!
CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!!! (Sidenote: When we first got to the mall today, we heard this song playing at Brookstone. Apparently it becomes that disco song "At the Carwash," which got all of us excited.) The PA people did not do a great job of getting the crowd into it, so I felt obliged to take some action. Props to the chica in the long sleeve UVA t-shirt for getting her people join in - but to no avail. Overall, the people of DC are definitely happy to have a baseball team once again, and I feel like they deserve it. Also, big up to Chas, one of my roommates from when I lived in DC. He came to the game with us and had some beers, despite the fact that he had flown back on the red eye from Vegas this morning. What a trooper...

Unfortunately, the Heat lost tonight. It is 2-2, and we're going back to Miami for game five. I feel like this one is all going to come down to God's plan. Watch the post-game interviews, and I'm sure all will agree.

Now we are on the road to Philly to stay with my boy Dave (aka ZB, aka the DS Express). Pictures of us running up the steps to the Art Museum Rocky style coming tomorrow...

Edward:

Holy shnookers, young Eric posted quite a long one so I'll try to keep this (relatively) short like a midget. I must first preface this, however, with the fact that Morgan has had (along with his ballpark food) some Roy Rogers and is turning this HandiVan into a modern day Auschwitz, so if I get a little bit light headed and stop making sense, please forgive me. And I'm also trying to avoid the pink-eye that Devo thinks he has come down with...

First things first, Devo has mentioned Chas, but neglected to bring up yesterday's "Kansan" of the day, John "Parkin" "the Gent" Kent who made his way over to catch up with the Joneses in Chevy Chase (named after the late great talk show hosted by the actor of the same name). The Gent kept it classy and introduced us to new (as of 1943) phrases such as, "You fellahs will be so bushed after the trip that you'll need to rest for a right bit," and confirmed Morgan's favorite, "I've taken a real shine to you."


Moving on, we also checked out what is thus far the best film of the year, Crash. I was tense the whole way through, Devo giggled like a child, BI cried, and our nearby neighbors reinforced some of the stereotypes that the movie tried so hard to dispell... This was followed by a rejoining with Morgan for the end of the new Star Wars which made me once again contemplate how George Lucas can craft a story like few others, but writes dialogue at the same level of a 3-year-old South Dakotan chisel monkey.

And to the main event, the game tonight redeemed the Orioles poor showing from the night before as the home team Nat's came through with a clutch win on a late game 2-run double by Nick Johnson and survived a late inning scare when Chad Cordero allowed a homerun by 73-year-old Julio Franco and allowed the tying runner to reach third base. But it all ended well and we're poised for a good game tomorrow with my new Giants' hat and a still-to-be-made Kirk Reuter "K" Meter (stay tuned for more on this tomorrow)...

On the road in beautiful Pennsyltucky, talk to you later-- and I'll try to give daily audioblogs live from the games from now on...

Morgan:

We started the Twerve trip at the Park that Randy Milligan, Larry Sheets, and Joe Orsulak built: Camden Yards. Next stop?? The Stadium that Joe Jacoby, Gary Clark, and Clint Didier made Great: RFK., Go Skins!! There is a new team in town, and they're surprising a few folks. So, as we pulled into our reserved parking space at RFK, I switched hats (quite literally) and decided to give it a go and cheer for the hometown DC squad. They did not disappoint. Nick "I look like Devo when I have a beard" Johnson provided most of the offense, which is quite nice for my ABC News fantasy squad. Chad Cordero, however, did his best D. Kolb/B. Looper Experience impression, but the Nats eventually prevailed and the old saying proved true: beers = victory. Oh, and one other age-old saying: it's not always good to have a lot of cell phone minutes-- No matter what "Inconsiderate Cell Phone Guy" says before moving previews.

On the road to Philly right now...it ain't no trip to Cleveland.

A side note worth noting on the side: we like friends and visitors on the road. The Gent (previously mentioned) as well as Coxson, Chris, Jay, Colin, Chas, and of course, the lovely Annie Nichols were all part of our D.C. experience -- my brother Cooper and his very white, and directionly impaired friends also chilled at the O's game Sunday. Annie went to TWO O's games that weekend - what a sports nut!! Jessa, Dave, and possibly PNC Girl await ahead on the East Coast. After that?? Who knows....who knows...

I guess I need to weigh in on Star Wars: Episode III (i refuse to say the last part of the title)--pretty solid action, lots of great scenery and strange characters, and plenty of bad dialogue between Future Vader and Future Ex-Mrs. Vader. All in all, MUCH better than the previous two movies, and it cemented and elucidated a lot of information for a non-hardcore Star Wars person such as myself.

Finally, did we mention Devo is doing to sing a duet of "Summer Lovin" at an Immunology Symposium/Throwdown this summer?? It's worth another mention...

I am Locust!

Biggie:

So I feel like most of the past twenty-four hours have been covered, besides the threat of a nuculer war. I stayed sober tonight to make the drive to illadelphia, and had the enjoyable job of trying to corral the three drunken idiots into the van, navigate the slums of southeast d.c., and then deal with the stench comparable only to rotten clams in hot dog water. Crash was definitely worth seeing, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges delivered a surprisingly strong performance as did the lady famous for saying: 'There's gum on my seat... GUM." Oh yeah, and I'm looking forward to some future backseat driving after logging 650 straight miles in the handivan. This is General Malaise signing off, good morning and good night.

Twerve has begun...at the greatest park in baseball: Camden Yards.

This is a view from our adopted seats using Mojo's phone. What a ballpark.

It took 5 people in a 2 person convertible to get the trip underway, but it began in style. And an historic game it was. Napoleon "Calzone" Calzado came through with a bloop single in his first major league at bat (eliciting a "make yourself a damn quesadilla, Napoleon!!" cheer from Morgan, which was greeted by a blank stare as we later learned that the only two English words he knew were "Sammy" and "Sosa"). And the "Steves" (Reed and Kline) ruined the day with a vengeance by allowing the anemic Tiger's offense to put on a 7th inning hitting clinic to blow a 6-1 lead for an ultimate 8-6 defeat.

As for the amenities at Oriole Park at Camden Yards:
The seats were decent, but I (Eric) hate sitting in a part of the stadium where I have to constantly look either to the right or the left. We were in the left field foul area, looking to our extreme rights, until the 4th inning, when we moved in the sun, behind the left field foul pole, facing frontward to home plate. What a difference 2 sections make!

Boog's BBQ, one of the food staples of the park, was somehow out of pork. Potential disaster. But disaster was averted, as the BBQ beef sandwich with the horseradish and BBQ sauce loaded on was primo. Morgan and Ed give the "A-OK!" to the Clipper City microbrew beer. Morgan also wishes it were called City Clipper, but that's another story altogether.

The scoreboard was pretty solid, and featured the usual guess the crowd size, who is this player?, and a moving Brian Roberts highlight montage set to popular music. The highlight, however, is the three-card-monty-with-crabs-hiding-a-baseball routine. Everyone found the right crab...except Ed. He hates crabs...but that's another story altogether. And by crabs, we mean the shellfish, which are also a popular, Chesapeake area food.

2 Douche Chills to speak of:
a) Topless guy sitting in front of us at the game was determined to have his arm around his bra-less girlfriend (two of many boobs in the vicinity). His unclothed, and occasionally sweaty arm, however, gently brushed Morgan's leg for a generous helping of AMC (Awkward Man Contact). Thanks dude. I (Morgan) hope it was as awkward for you as it was for me--but I somehow doubt it.

b) Future Douche Chill to look for. Devo was invited to sing a duet of "Summer Loving" at Dr. Dutton's 50 years in Immunology Throwdown/Symposium on June 17th. Someone bring a camera and keep it rolling! Please!

A quick Spring (Sudden) Valley nighttime update: we have happened upon a new drinking game involving swim trunks, singing and socials- Beer Skimmer. Invented by a couple of St. Albans boys, Beer Skimmer is a game not unlike Beirut except that you are half naked, swimming in a backyard pool, tossing water skimming-discs instead of ping pong balls and trying to knock over beer cans set up in threes. In order to begin your team of two needs to assume a team name involving a fish. Popular names included Monkfish, Gefilte Fish, Spring Break Shark Attack, and of course, Crazy Big Head Cape Cod Toddfish (a tribute to three of our favorite Todds). First team to knock over a can 11 times wins, switch sides at 6 (deep end to shallow end and vice versa) and you must drink constantly. If a team knocks over two in a row, they get the skimmers back, if your skimmer hits the water and sinks its a flounder and the thrower has to butterfly across the pool and back then chug a beer, a skimmer that doesn't hit the water is an Air Raid, and if you split the cans and miss, it is called shooting (or shopping at) the gap. There are some other intricacies that are too subtle to even discuss. Anyway, much fun was had, a lot of chlorination, PNC girl was conspicuously absent, but we had fun and Manny Ramirez is a Manchild. Go Heat!

Sorry for the long post, we will try to post shorter and more often. Twerve!

We are attempting to post from "American Online", for those you don't know, this is a "dial up" internet connection. Therefore, it might take us a bit longer to get to the main point.
The main point is - tonight was pre-game, festivities, interludes, and most of all, Devo's PNC girl. Stay tuned for more from Pittsburgh about PNCG...Ed was late tonight- 1.5 hours late after waiting on the 2nd curb at Dulles for a van service that didn't service him. Devo, however, was serviced by Morgan's dog Opie, continuously on the couch...and he liked it.

Speaking of Opie, Biggie and Devo graciously walked him and he pissed on a fire hydrant - so cliche.

a few thoughts from the Adams Morgan, DC nightlife: too much smoking, girls were "either too tall or too wide -- no happy medium" and cabs without meters are like TLC without Left Eye. Nut' said.

2 strange coincidences:
a) earlier today, Biggie asked Devo: "is there an Israeli beer??...is it called He-Brew?" as a joke. Unbeknownst to Either OF THESe YOUng MEn, this BEER WAS ACTUALLY PURCHASED BY MORGAN'S MOM FOR CONSUMPTION AT THEIR HOUSE. imagine that!

b) pregaming at Morgan's friend Chris' apartment, we noticed a few old posters of obscure movies - one film called "Barbarella" starring Jane Fonda. Later that eve, at the Blue Room, the movie du jour was none other than "Barbarella" starring a futuristic Jane Fonda (pre "Monster-in-Law")

The orioles lost today on a boneheaded dropped possible double play by Palmeiro. They lost. tomorrow is a new day, and it is upon us. Twerve.

Devo resting up for the trip...

That's right, starting May 29 check back for up to the minute updates on the baseball watching tomfoolery of 4 twentysomething jackasses living in a HandiVan down by the river (of life).