Twerve Days of Baseball

BIGGS:
It's late, and we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow- twerve hours of driving from The Nati to NYC. But first, a quick update on some parts not mentioned or glazed over in the Chicago Fire in Devo's Pants Part Two post. Tequila Roadhouse was like a yambo heaven. Picture a mix of about 60-70% dudes all looking to get seriously laid and pouncing on any fresh new meat that stepped into the establishment. Then you have a saddle set up in a corner with women grinding men, men grinding women, and women grinding women- add in a couple spotlights, a lot of alcohol, and you have yourself a stew... a hot, sweaty, eyes-glazing, eardrum bursting, ugly-bumping stew.

Just as we were attempting to get home at a reasonable hour, we (The Fantastic Three- now that Hot Knees was sweating back at the Hostel) found our services needed to help another damsel in distress give the run-around to another pushy guy that she had just met. We ventured into Walgreens, where there was a Gatorade Bowling tournament and then some covert hiding in the employee bathroom in order to give the pink slip to Pushy Guy #2. To thank us heroes, we were invited to the damsel's apartment for some mini liquor bottles (turns out they were flight attendants) and some of the more interesting and informative conversation we've had on the trip. Ed said it best when he described how they talk: "It is like they use the word 'Eww' instead of punctuation." For example: "Guys here don't tell her she's pretty, Eww, even though I'm always like 'Eww, you are SOOOO much better looking than those other sluts.'" Let's just say they they were not breaking down any stewardess stereotypes.

Celebrity and Pro-Athlete Alert. Just in case you are involved in a heated game of Twerve Degrees of Kevin Bacon, here is an interesting connection. One of the flight attendants that treated us to airline nips and frozen broccoli (another story for another day) claimed not only to be the girlfriend of Atlanta Brave Kelly Johnson ("His batting stance is so wierd, Eww.") but was also the cousin of Desperate Housewife and Frenchman Spur-dating Eva Longoria. Apparently there is some jealousy a-brewin' though because she didn't really want to talk about Ms. Longoria, despite our prodding. Anyway, hopefully by the end of our trip we will have at least four pros reading the blog (Papi, Teahen, Kelly, and Lou Brock). Holla.

By the time we escaped at 6am, the sun was out, and we were on our way to the Cincinnati for what turned out to be one of the more exciting games on the trip. More on that tomorrow... be prepared for an excessive amount of blogging since we have such a long car ride to NYC, we will try to get more pictures out as we receive them from various people's cameras and sometimes we will add pictures to old posts where they are most relevant, so be sure and check on past posts every once and a while, just in case. Finally, you may have noticed that we've sold out to google- it must have been all these corporate sponsored ballparks, but we felt like we needed to get in on some of the action (although the likelihood of it producing enough to pay for ONE toll is not likely). Stay Tuned and keep the comments coming.