Twerve Days of Baseball

MORGAN L.:


Kum and Go - a gas station mart in Iowa. Nut' said.

You may have heard a few rumors about me pertaining to last night...they're all true. I'm now a habitual "gancer", I flashed an unsuspecting White Sox employee for tickets, and I can drink myself into a gargoyle-like state with the help of 2 vodka red bulls, a few beers and a lil' soco and lime. What the hell is a "gargoyle", you may ask? Just wait until you hear about Devo on his birthday in K.C tomorrow. Just you wait...

A few listserves for that arse:

My Favorite "Gancing" Songs (see definition below):
1. "Gancing with Myself" - Billy Idol
2.. "Tiny Gancer" - Elton John
3. "Gancing in the Street" - Martha and The Vandellas
4. "MoonGance" - Van Morrison
5. "You Should be Gancing" - Bee Gees

The Best "Gancing" Movies of All-Time
1. "Shall We Gance?"
2. "Dirty Gancing"
3. "Save the Last Gance"
4. "Gancer in the Dark"
5. "Sisterhood of the Traveling Gance"

Favorite Cities so Far (besides DC/Baltimore - representin'!)
1. Chicago
2. Philadelphia
3. Dyersville, IA (If you build it...)
4. Pittsburgh
5. Intercourse, PA

Favorite Trip Phrases:
1. "What? What? I thought this was America!" (heavily slurred)
2. "Goddamn Richers!"
3. "You ever had your ---- pushed in?"
4. "I am Locust" (Kazakhstani accent)
5. "What if I show you my belly?...I can go higher" (said by a pot-bellied drunkard to a ticket attendant)

Today, I hit fungos and took infield/outfield at the Field of Dreams in Dyersville, Iowa - fulfilling a long-time dream of mine; however, in previous dreams, Kevin Costner factored in much, much more. Oh, there I go again...Maybe, Chicago's Morley and the Bachlorettes were onto something. Anyway, back to the FOD, we got there about an hour before closing time, so we had the field practically to ourselves. Biggie started in Rightfield, Devo manned First Base, Ed was combo infield/outfield and Leon was a twerve-year-old kid who had a nose for the ball and a love for the game. You've got a bright future Leon! Pics and more detailed analysis from Heaven/Iowa to come on the next blog.
Right now we're in the HandiVan driving south to K.C. The three idiots here with me are set on getting my traveling Gancing act on the JumboTron at Kauffman Stadium tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.